Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i can't believe i had my finger in that
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize