Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize