I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
