lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
