Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
