I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
