I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
