we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
