i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
