I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
