omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Panties = found
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
