My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
