then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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