So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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