We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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