my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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