I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
