Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
