Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
