and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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