he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
