pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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