i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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