stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
