beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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