Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
