I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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