So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
