The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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