I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
