Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?

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(607): View more from New York

Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.

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