NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont even know how to be here
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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