Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
