Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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