Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
