just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
