I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
