Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
