I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
