my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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