Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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