Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize