You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
