Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
even my farts smell like vagina
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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