just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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