I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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