He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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