I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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