i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
