there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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