I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
