If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
