She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
