xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
