so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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