She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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