Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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