She is in my trunk
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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